Morning Will Come
by illislune
Summary: Song-fic. Based on the song "I Can't Make You Love Me". A bittersweet goodbye, Bella allows herself to indulge in Edward's embrace one last time. Where does that leave her when morning comes? One Shot. A/H A/U


A/N: My first attempt at a song-fic! Hope you like it.

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**Morning Will Come**

Based on the song, "I Can't Make You Love Me."

~BPOV~

_Turn down the lights, turn down the bed_

I watched him pull away the sheet and the comforter, as he gracefully slid into bed. He reached over to turn off the bedside lamp, and the room fell into darkness. As I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, I noticed how the moonlight illuminated his form, lying peacefully on the bed.

I marveled how I had been able to have this angel at my side for eighteen years. I marveled at my luck. Each time I lay my eyes on him, so defenseless and peaceful in sleep, I wondered what luck had brought him into my life.

_Turn down these voices inside my head_

As I sat there watching him sleep, I thought back to happier times – memories we shared – of us, laughing together as we ran along the beach, of us, smiling under the sun as we lay on the grass, of us, together. Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I waited patiently as I watched him slip further into unconsciousness, as I listened to the soothing tunes from my stereo. My lullaby – composed by the sleeping angel before me. He had recorded the song for me when we were younger, when he had to leave with his father to Chicago for the summer, telling me to listen to it whenever I missed him. Years later, when he had asked me about the CD, I lied, telling him that I had lost it somewhere, when in truth I listened to it every night. He had laughed in relief, telling me he wanted to record a song for his girlfriend, and he planned on telling her she was the only one with a recording of his playing. He said if I hadn't lost it, he might have had to ask me for the CD back. It had felt like he had staked me through the heart when I heard him say those words.

_Lay down with me, tell me no lies_

I remember the first time I realized I was in love with this boy. This beautiful boy. I had fallen over and was trying my best to hold in the tears from the pain. He had appeared at my side in an instant, stretching out his hand to help me up. When I glanced up, I was met with the most brilliant crooked grin, twinkling emerald eyes and that shock of penny-bronze hair. In that instant, I had forgotten the pain and everything else, all I knew at that moment was how my heart ached for the boy standing in front of our hands touched, I remember the shiver that ran down my spine. I remember how my cheeks turned a bright red, and how his finger had gently stroked me cheek, telling me my blush looked beautiful. I couldn't find my voice to correct him, that the beautiful person could never be me when he was standing right in front of me in all his perfection.

_Just hold me close, don't patronize – don't patronize me_

Once I was certain his breathing had evened out, and he was fast asleep, I slipped out my window, crawling carefully across the ledge until I had reached his balcony. He never locked his window, always leaving it open, just as he had after that night when my mother left me. That night had been bittersweet. My mother couldn't stand being tied down in a small town. She had always dreamed of travelling, and moving on to bigger things. I remember how she had begged me in tears to not blame her, how she had kissed me on my forehead and turned, stepping out the door and out of my life. That was the first night Edward held me until I fell asleep.

That night I laid, curled in her arms, with Edward humming my lullaby, gently coaxing me to sleep. I remembered how the tears had continued to pour down my cheeks, and how Edward had placed loving kisses on my forehead, reminding me that my mother's departure was not my fault. Each time he smiled at me, he wiped away my insecurities, reassuring me that I was worthy of being loved. He protected me, punching other boys that ridiculed me of being abandoned, and always made an effort of being at my side whenever I needed a shoulder to cry.

_Cause I can't make you love me if you don't_

_You can't make your heart feel something it won't_

_Here in the dark, in these lonely hours_

_I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power_

I deftly slipped under the covers and wrapped myself in his arms. These were the moments when Edward was mine, and mine alone. I knew for a fact that Edward had never had another girl sleep overnight in his bed. I gazed up at this angel, fast asleep beside me. He had grown, maturing like all teenage boys. I watched as he grew up, without an awkward phase, into his heartbreaking good looks. He was the pride and joy his parents and our teachers. Smart, conscientious, and oh boy, was he gorgeous. Everyone wanted to be close to him, and I used to be so honored that he kept me by his side.

A smile crept on my face, as I remembered how he had reacted when he first came to the realization that boys were different from girls. I loved how a faint blush had covered his cheeks when I first wore a dress. It was a beautiful powder-blue dress, that I had fallen in love with. My dad bought it as an early birthday gift, and I had worn it to Edward's birthday party. I was excited and nervous anticipating what he would think. I loved how I had made him blush, as he bashfully gazed at me. He had called me beautiful, and I remember how I had felt as if I would never be able to wipe off the grin on my face, but that victory was all too soon replaced by bitter feelings. Yes, bitter indeed. That was also the year when we stopped hanging out together.

_But you won't, no you won't_

_Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't_

He moved on. Made new friends – guy friends. A new group of friends, of which I wasn't included. I tried to hide my pain, making my own set of friends. Girls. I loved Alice and Rosalie, and enjoyed the times I spent with Angela, but it was never the same. When I was upset, Alice and Rose would hold me in their arms for comfort but I could never shake the feeling of vulnerability. It was times like those that I would desperately wish Edward would hold me. His embrace was the only place I had ever truly felt safe. I longed for him to hold me, even if the love I so desperately sought from him would never be received.

_I'll close my eyes, then I won't see_

_The love you don't feel when you're holding me_

I don't remember when it began. My sneaking into Edward's room in the middle of the night. After the night when he had held me, after my mother had left, I could never sleep well unless I was in his arms. I began sneaking into his bed at night, basking in the feeling of him holding me tight. I would always leave before dawn – I wanted to spare him the feeling of awkwardness of waking up to find me next to him. I was thankful that he was a deep sleeper. As I curled into him, I drank in his warmth and his scent. I tried to ignore the tightening in my chest, as I lay there. We had grown further apart as the years went, no longer haning out together. We even stopped talking at school, passing by each other like strangers.

The memory of the day Edward told me we shouldn't spend time together anymore still cut me as deep now as it did then. He had called out to me nervously that day, and nervously explained that it was uncool for him to spend so much time with a girl when he wasn't dating her. His expression was that of nervousness, afraid that I would burst into tears. I remember how my heart had shattered into a million pieces at that moment, but I managed to hold in the sobs. To this day, I don't understand how I managed to fool him, despite my bad acting skills. I had nodded and accepted his reason, assuring him that I understood and didn't mind in the least. I couldn't blame him in the least, he had stuck by me all those years before. I always knew my time with him would be limited. I couldn't be so selfish as to weigh him down with my tears.

He moved on. He dated. Like the perfect gentleman he was, he had always been respectful of his girlfriends. He never had flings, always serious relationships. I was never able to move on, as he did though. Instead, like the masochist I am, I endured my loneliness and reveled in my pain knowing at least he was still a part of my life, no matter how insignificant. It broke my heart to hear his girlfriends gossiping with their friends – discussing how Edward had planned the perfect romantic first date, or talking about their first kisses, and how attentive he had been about anniversaries.

And then Tanya Denali moved here. The way Edward lit up when he saw Tanya, I knew that was the first time he truly fell deep in love. I cried in the bathroom after hearing Tanya gush about how they had given each other their first time. I cried again when Edward caught Tanya in a compromising position with Laurent over winter break after he had decided to surprise her with a visit. I cried for his broken heart, for the stabbing betrayal Tanya had dealt him, for the pain Tanya had caused his gentle and loving soul. I cried for how I would never had taken his love for granted as Tanya had, I cried for how that I would never have the chance to show him how I loved him, and I cried for all the broken hearts in the world.

_Morning will come and I'll do what's right_

_Just give me till then to give up this fight_

_And I will give up this fight_

I shut my eyes, listening to the comforting beat of his heart. I remember how happy everyone had been at graduation. People were abuzz with excitement, for we would finally be leaving this small town and heading to college. We were about to embark on a big adventure, meet new people, and move closer to our dreams. At least, that was the case for everyone but me.

The only feeling I had was dread. Despair. I was leaving my safety net. I was leaving Edward. He was heading off to Northwestern for Medical school, while I was heading off to Dartmouth to pursue my English degree. For the first time in my life, we would be miles and miles apart. He would be living a life that I no longer had a part in, meet people I would not know, and fall in love with a girl that wasn't me.

This would be the last night I would spend in his embrace. The last night when Edward was mine, truly mine. I felt a traitorous tear roll down my cheek. Quickly blinking away the rest of my tears, I let out a shaky sigh. I could never tell Edward how I felt. I remember how he had grinned at me at Graduation, congratulating me on heading off to Dartmouth. Never did he express sadness at our impending separation. No. He didn't know how I felt, and I would never be selfish enough to tell him. I would keep all this pain to myself. I wanted him to leave with a happy memory of me, not one of me in tears. That's why I waited till he was asleep before I let myself indulge in my misery.

_Cause I can't make you love me if you don't_

_You can't make your heart feel something it won't_

_Here in the dark, in these lonely hours_

_I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power_

I could see the rays of sunlight begin peaking in from outside. The sky was lightening, changing from the dark indigo into a softer powder blue. The sounds of chirping birds indicated that morning was upon us, and I fought hard against the urge to be sick. Slowly, I extracted myself from Edward's arms, allowing myself one last glance at his sleeping form. I stood there, frozen, committing him to memory. Before I could stop myself, I was leaning back towards him, reaching out to touch him for the last time.

_But you won't, no you won't_

_Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't_

I allowed my finger to gently trace over his shut eyelids, along his chiseled jaw line, over his bottom lip, until finally running my fingers through his hair. How fate was cruel. To gift me with an angel for eighteen years, and then take him away from my life.

This would be it. I made the decision at that moment to never return to Forks. The thought of returning to Forks and chancing upon a distant but happy Edward was just too much to bear. I wasn't naïve, I knew that we would both grow and mature at college. Change was inevitable. We would both experience things that changed us, that made us grow further apart. I was terrified of the fact that Edward would grow into someone I no longer knew. I was afraid that one day I would come back to see Edward bringing the woman of his dreams back to meet his parents. Would I be able to look him in the face with a smile, and congratulate him?

No. I wouldn't survive it. My heart had endured too much heartbreak. I would never return. I would be selfish, I had to be. I would commit this youthful Edward to memory, never to meet him again. I would always be in love with him as the boy I remembered, and that meant never to meet the man that Edward would one day become.

I leaned in for a final goodbye, gently kissing him on the lips. My first and final kiss. And with that, I turned to leave.

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A/N: So what did you think? Even though I wrote it, personally, I still wished it was a happy ending. Still, it seemed fitting to end it this way, unless... well, let's just say I am debating on whether to write an EPOV. All I will divulge is that there may still be hope for a happy ending. Let me know if you'd be interested in an EPOV.


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